.the princess portal.

http://www.thelostprincess.com

Thank You all for your patience! I hope you like the new blog. I have a handful of posts up already and I hope it becomes as special to you as it is to me.

Just a little notice, if you post a comment over there you will need to be re-approved, so your first comment will be moderated and may not appear straight away. Don’t worry, I’ll moderate them asap!

The Princess Portal will be staying up as it is for now, in a few months time I may move it to an archive under the new blog, but in answer to your questions, I will not be deleting anything.

Things have been a little quiet around here over the past few days, and the reason is that I have been working on something that is very new and exciting and hopeful to me, and I hope you will find it also.

The Princess Portal will be undergoing a fairly big makeover, in the spirit of seeking out a new direction. When I started this blog I was a very different person to the one I am now (how fast we grow and change!) and in some ways I have been trying to develop the Portal in a way that reflects this, however I feel that I may have been going in the wrong direction with some aspects. I feel what I need in some ways is a fresh start, and a new ‘feel’ to my blog.

There will be some physical changes, a new name, a new domain (I am sorry, you will have to redirect your feeds and links!) and a new layout. There will also be some more subtle changes. I am going to take a little break from writing Princess Lessons and instructional posts. Instead I am going to share more of my life and musings and inspirations, because I feel that it is time to stop talking and start walking, if you catch my drift. Instead of telling you how to be a Princess, I am going to show you how I live. I hope this will allow me to write more creatively as I would in my own personal journal, and to share with you things that are not strictly ‘Princess related’ but equally beautiful and magical.

I will also be getting a fancy new camera very soon, so I will be posting more of my own photos and drawings and rely less heavily on borrowing from others.

I know that not all of you will be happy with the changes I make, and may feel a sense of loss for the way this blog has been, however I hope you will trust me and be curious to see what new things we may discover, walking with me out of the bright sunlight and on to the forest path.

My Princess Day this May was quiet and warm and lovely. Rather than running about from one place to the next I spent the day at home, basking in the sunlight that filtered through gauze curtains on to the cool palace walls, eating dainty little things and sipping sweet tea while indulging in a few pages of my favourite books.

I woke up early, as the sun was just peeking through the trellis of our courtyard and casting checkerboard shadows on my face. My breakfast was blueberry pancakes and lady grey tea (I love the bright blue cornflowers, even though they go transparent in the hot water, still, flowers make everything more beautiful, even tea) eaten off blue and white china to the sound of the morning chorus.

We have so many birds about the Palace, because the land next to us is empty but for a few bushes. There is a direct drop from the courtyard walls and the birds; turtledoves, wrens, honey-eaters and willie-wag-tails, come swooping up and land on it to chitter away at eachother.

I wiled away the daylight hours, reading George MacDonald (The Golden Key) and finishing The Serpent Garden (about a Renaissance paintrix, angels, demons and other sordid things.) I sketched a little, I have really lost the habit. Drawing is not like riding a bicycle, if one neglects it she forgets where the curves start and end, and how a hand looks holding a rose. I really must practise more, and perhaps share some dabblings with you. I miss watercolours most of all.

A good part of the day, I admit, I spent thinking. I think far too much by habit, and when I have a whole day with nothing that needs to be done I am always in danger of thinking myself to death. I did find a few things in my mental travels though, answers to questions, the beginnings of change and a name. You will see some of them soon.

In the afternoon at precisely four o’clock I decided to take a walk. I haven’t been to the river in a while since I have been unwell, but it was a perfect day for walking and I couldn’t resist. The bull rushes were shedding their seeds so there were drifts of fluffy soft down caught in nooks and holes where the wind had blown them. I learnt long ago that you mustn’t touch them though, however soft they look they can make you itch something horrid!

The river was so calm and pretty. I saw ducklings, little grey fluff balls dunking their heads in Pierre’s lake. A great white spoonbill fluttered like a ghost from within the darker part of the swamp, I wouldn’t have even seen him if he was still. I ended up on the swings in the park by the waters edge. They are placed just so that if you swing in them you feel you will fly out over the river like one of the comorants who fan their wings on the jetty. Only I’d probably go down as fast as they do and river water is not nice for swimming. I sat on the swings for a while and thought some more.

My evening was perfect because the Prince came to see me. We cooked Okonomiyaki, which is like a big pancake or omelette with lots of cabbage in it, despite this it is delicious. We also watched Tristan and Isolde, which wasn’t nearly as good as the Okonomiyaki and nothing like the original tragic tale. We didn’t watch the ending.

I hope you had, or are having, a magical and special Princess Day too! Please tell me all about it.

image from Vogue Korea

April is now come to an end and we are beginning the beautiful month of May. How did you go with your April Challenge? Did you get a chance to look through your childhood mementos and photos? What did you remember about your youthful dreams and ambitions? Please share them with us here!

May Princess Challenge
International Princess Day is the 5th of May, so your challenge for this month is related to this! Whether it is on the 5th or another day this month, make an effort to celebrate your very own Princess Day. You may chose to spend it with friends, family or on your own. Remember the idea of the day is to spend it connecting with your inner Princess and doing all the sort of things that make you feel especially royal. Read more here.

There is an extra component to this challenge however! On your Princess Day I want to practise being awake and present. Try to focus on one thing at a time all day, and be in the moment. Fully experience and appreciate the beauty of your day by being mindful and aware of everything you do. I would love to hear about how this changes and enhances your experience!

Princess Portal will be undergoing a big makeover in the next few weeks, and one of the changes will be the way we do Princess Challenges. More details on this soon!

photo by Claudio Mancilla

Since I was a little girl I have noticed that there are moments, brief fleeting seconds now and then, far too rarely, when I feel truly awake. This kind of awakeness is a state of consciousness where I am not lost in my own thoughts, daydreaming or imagining but actually completely present in the current moment and aware of everything around me, entranced and enthralled by the pure beauty of life. The closest thing I have come across to describe it is Emily Byrd Starr’s “flashes” which she describes as momentary glimpses in to heaven. This is fairly accurate in my mind, because at no point is the world more beautiful than when you are fully awake.

If you read Self Development blogs you are probably not new to the concept of mindfulness and being present. In case this is not so I will explain them briefly. Mindfulness is being conscious of life as its happening. Whether you are having a conversation with a friend, walking home or eating dinner. Being present is being in the moment, wherever you are and whatever you are doing. Right here, right now. It means not continually thinking about the past or present but accepting where you are now and living in that single moment.

These ideas are very nice, you might say, but what have they got to do with being a Princess? Let me explain a few areas in which they help.

• Grace. One of the primary virtues we associate with Princesses is gracefulness. Princesses aren’t clumsy, they don’t stub their toes or blurt out rude things. Not that there is anything wrong with being clumsy, but its rather an uncomfortable way to be. Being Awake means paying attention to your surroundings, knowing where you are in relation to everything else and conscious of what you’re doing. People who are able to achieve this have a natural grace about them.
• Compassion. How often do you find yourself listening to someone, and start drifting off on another train of though? It happens to all of us, but it means we are not truly focused on the person we are conversing with, we’re not respecting them enough to give them our full attention. Being present and aware during conversations will put you in tune with their feelings and will help you emphathise with them. Being more awake and aware when you’re with your friends in general will also make it easier to relax, be social, and enjoy yourself!
• Patience. Recently we discussed Patience, and what a tricky virtue it is to achieve. One of the best ways to work on it is by being present and awake. If you are forced to wait for something or someone, use that time to fully experience your surroundings, relax and enjoy the moment. Maybe you have to wait, but now you have a good excuse to relax and enjoy the sunshine and birdsong, or chat to someone waiting with you.
• Appreciation of Beauty. Beauty does not exist anywhere but in your heart and mind. It is solely your experience of things that makes them beautiful. If you can learn to be awake and fully appreciate the moment, fully immerse yourself in the beauty of nature, of art, music, writing, food, dance.. whatever it is that makes your heart soar, then you’ve achieved a beautiful life that money can not buy.
• Peace. You would think that being awake and aware was the opposite of peace, aren’t we most at peace when we sleep? I beg to disagree. Being fully awake, mindful and in the moment is the deepest sense of peace you will ever feel. I can’t describe it, but I encourage you to try for yourself!

How can I be more awake?

1. Stop and focus on your breathing, take a few deep breaths and then just think about nothing but breathing for a little while.
2. Use your senses. What can you see at the moment, really look around as if you’ve been blind all your life. What can you hear? Touch? Smell?
3. Do only one thing at a time. Stop multitasking, focus entirely on the task at hand, even if its a simple chore or errand.
4. Take things slowly. Don’t rush through your day, savour and appreciate each moment and everything you do.
5. Practise this online. Rather than switching between windows and tabs just have one thing open. Do whatever it is you’re doing and don’t be distracted or interrupted.
6. Be grateful for what you have right now. Whether its the meal you’re eating, the warm comfort of your bed, the sound of birds in the morning or a friend’s smile, be really thankful for that bright little moment and love it.
7. Shorten your to-do list. Rather than trying to cram as much productivity as you can in to a day, focus only on the really important tasks and leave time in between to do nothing.
8. Stop and smile. Think one positive thought. There, you’ve just created a beautiful moment in your life.

Achieving this state on a regular basis is not easy, but it is very rewarding. I do believe in the value of daydreaming, but I also think that a lot of us live too much inside our heads, playing out possibilities and pondering past actions which can lead to a lot of worry and stress. Living more in the ‘now’ as wolves and wild creatures do, is a way to finding that simple happiness and bliss in just being alive. Try it!

Extra reading:
A Simple Guide to Being Present for the Overworked and Overwhelmed
The Mindfulness Guide for the Super Busy: How to Live Life to the Fullest
How to Find Islands of Ease in the Chaos of Life
Being Present Blog

photo by alsjhc

In natural medicine and beauty a ’simple’ is a treatment that involves only one ingredient, usually directly applied. In the years I’ve spent experimenting with natural beauty remedies I’ve come across some great recipes, but also discovered ways to use these ingredients on their own, to good effect.

Here are my favourite beauty simples, as used by women for hundreds of years.

1. Honey for Healing. Honey has some amazing healing properties, it calms the skin, reduces redness and swelling and helps the skin heal faster. Apply a “honey pat” to areas of redness, burst blemishes, cuts or nicks to the skin. Organic honey is best, and make sure to keep it free of contaminants.
2. Milk for Cleansing. Pure full cream milk is a wonderful cleanser. It will gently remove the impurities in your skin without stripping its natural oils. Use at night before bed, apply enough to cover the face and then wash off with warm water. Excellent for sensitive skin.
3. Egg whites as an Emollient. If you skin is dry and rough, egg whites will help renew its moisture and elasticity. Whisk lightly, apply as a mask and leave for ten minutes before washing off with warm water. This is also a great treatment for the hands and egg yolk can be used as a hair mask as well.
4. Oats for Scrubbing. Feel the need for a deeper cleanse? Rolled oats or pure oatmeal make a great scrub. Crush the oats and add to a little water or milk. Gently scrub the skin with the mixture in small circular movement, leave for a few minutes and then wash off. You can put oats in a muslin bag and use them as a body scrub too!
5. Garlic the Antibacterial. This simple is for skin prone to blemishes, pimples and spots. Cut a clove of garlic in half and rub on a new blemish (not one which has burst or opened!) the garlic oils will help kill the bacteria causing the pores to block and sometimes make the spot go away altogether. The earlier you do this the better. It may sting a little, but as long as you don’t apply it to open sores or near the eyes this is fine. If you have sensitive skin do a test on your wrist first.

photo by Phil Dubois

photo by Jesse Draper

There comes a time for many of us who follow a particular fashion, when we feel ready to move on, stretch our wings and try something new. It can be a little sad as one feels they are leaving behind fond memories and good times, but it is also very exciting! You have the chance to start with a blank slate (or dress rather!) and create something that is perfectly you.

Having myself moved on from wearing Lolita fashion regularly to only now and then, and mixing it in with the rest of my wardrobe I’ve discovered a few interesting ways that Lolita changes your fashion sense, and so I’d like to share some tips for recreating your own fashion style and aesthetic. I hope these will also be useful to Princesses developing their own unique style.

• Understanding the Lolita Mindset. I think anyone who has ever really embraced lolita fashion will find that it is something that stays with them for a very long time. It is such a unique and novel look that it sort of sticks in your mind, you find yourself inspecting the quality of lace on shirts, being drawn to bow, strawberry or cameo motifs, buying headbands to match every outfit and feeling naked without socks or stockings. Even if you’ve decided to go cold turkey and give up the fashion all together, you’ll probably still find part of your ‘lolita training’ is hard to let go. Accept that! Its OK, we all develop our style over time and these influences are natural.
• How to Begin. My first suggestion is to go out and buy a bunch of fashion magazines. High fashion, international, indie, alternative, as many different choices as you can find. Next, sit down with a pair of scissors and flip through them. Cut out anything that appeals to you and you could see yourself wearing. Don’t worry if none of these seem to match or keep to a theme. Either paste them in a scrapbook or pin them up on your wall to create an inspiration board. You could also do this entirely on your computer by collecting images online and making a desktop wallpaper of them.
• Create your own themes. This is where it starts to get exciting. Look at all those pictures you’ve just collected and start to identify themes. There might be certain colours that stand out to you, bright hues, jewel tones, dark shades, pastels or even neons. You may also be able to identify a feel to your choices, are they happy and playful? Moody and dark? Romantic and whimsical? Write down any words or terms that come to you and seem to suit your newly born style. Don’t worry if they completely contradict! Your style can be anything you want, from Hippy Pirate to Bookish Governess. You can also have more than one overall theme and switch between them as the mood suits.
• Play Dress Up! Armed with your inspiration collage and with your new themes in mind, its time to go shopping, but you won’t be spending any money just yet (unless you find something you need!) instead you are going to be trying on anything you like. I suggest doing this in bigger department stores so as to cause less work for the staff if this is possible. Try on whatever catches your fancy and suits your new themes and ideas, regardless of price range. Start mixing and matching with outfits to create accessories. This will give you an idea of which cuts and styles that you like also look good on you.
• Take it slowly. When making any big lifestyle changes, I suggest taking things slowly. If you sell all your lolita clothes overnight and then invest in a vintage wardrobe the next day you may regret it later. Find ways to incorporate your lolita style in to a more casual look. Wear your skirts with t-shirts, camisoles and cardigans. Try using a lolita accessory as a feature in another outfit. Keep your favourite pieces until you really feel ready to move on and sell the things you wear less often. Consider that you may still want to go to meet ups or wear it on occasion.
• Keep what you love. If you’re used to shopping online and only buying new clothes in the Lolita style, it might be a bit difficult to know where to begin with other styles. My suggestion is to look at what you love about lolita and use that to help you. Is it the feminine, girly designs? Old fashioned and historical styling? Childlike aesthetic? Understand that you can find these aspects in other looks if you give yourself the freedom to experiment. If you like the old fashioned look perhaps try vintage clothing. If you love Asian fashions, buy some magazines like Vivi for inspiration. I have never believed that a girl has to stick to just one style, that’s the fun of fashion, it gives you the chance to express many different sides of yourself!

I would love to hear about your experiences with changing fashion styles or tips for creating a new look! Mine is always a work in progress and I think we probably have a lot to teach each other.

I actually find it a little difficult to share parts of my personal life online, for running a blog with nearly 500 subscribers you wouldn’t imagine, but I’m really quite a private person. Thus, it is with some trepidation that I share with you my romantic little getaway with my Prince this weekend just past. I felt I really ought to introduce you though.

There is nothing like giving oneself the permission to do nothing, personally I’m awful at it. I’m a bit of a productivity junkie and unhappy unless I’m achieving or creating something each day. However I have been a little stressed and overworked lately, and decided that a weekend away with no computer, no blogging, no work but just my favourite company would be very welcome indeed!

We picked a spot near my favourite beach on the Cape Naturaliste. That’s the little part of this Kingdom that curves out in to the ocean like a horn, meaning that you can watch the sun rise over the ocean and set over the land, the opposite of our home coast.

The old farmhouse we rented was perfect with a capital ‘P.’ Charming and bright, one whole side of it was great bay windows, so you could step out on the veranda from the sitting, dining or bedrooms. It had high ceilings, a stone fireplace, wood framed windows painted French blue, antique furniture and the most amazing view! From the little couch on the verandas where I loved to sit and sew, or watch the sun rise through the mist and the kangaroos graze in the early morning, you could see right across the bay! At night the town far below lit up just like a starry sky and during the day we watched white sailboats meander through the bright blue waters, or on cloudy afternoons waited for the occasional beams of sunlight that would light up the sea like liquid gold and remind me of religious paintings.

In pots of blue on the veranda grew geraniums, pink, red and salmon (these reminded me of TLWH!) and nasturtiums. I fell in love again with these green faerie umbrellas and their little pumpkin flowers, I am determined to plant a pot full in our courtyard this winter.

It wasn’t quite as green as I’d hoped, but this is usual for the end of summer and was more than made up for by our lovely animal visitors! We had kangaroos in the mornings, a lizard slithering across the tin roof, little fairy wrens hopping all over the outdoor furniture and a family of Magpies constantly about. There were also sweet little Ringnecks and Rosellas (parrots) who always make me smile. On Saturday we had a visit from someone’s big black silky puppy, who was the sweetest, shiest dog but loved to be petted all the same.

Of course one of our main reasons for visiting was the beach. It was a little too cold to swim the day these pictures were taken, but I splashed about on the shore none-the-less. On Sunday we went back in bathers and took a dip in the blue crystal waters that were only a little chilly. I can not begin to describe how beautiful this beach is, just imagine all of those photos you’ve seen of amazing beaches and roll them in to one!

There are caves and horseriding and all sorts of things to do nearby, but this time we did none of them, simply claimed a couch each on either side of the fireplace and relaxed, read our books, in my case embroidered a new handkerchief and looked up now and then at the oceans changing moods. At night we cooked roast vegetables and lamb and warm apple crumble with custard, my favourite winter foods.

Of course I promised to introduce you to my Prince before I go! This is Benjamin, he spent the weekend reading Michael Moorcock, making sand castles and cooking me delicious breakfasts (he does the best scrambled eggs!) He’s also very comfortable to curl up with on the couch by the fireside.

It was over far too soon, but I have beautiful memories to keep in the treasure box of my mind, and I hope to go again next year!

this is to be our view!

Right now I am packing warm wooly things for a trip down south this weekend. “Down South” in the colloquial dialect means anywhere south of Perth, where it gets progressively greener, colder and prettier the further you go, until you hit Albany where the beaches fill with ice melt from Antartica (or at least that was my excuse for never swimming there.) My beloved and I will be spending three nights in an old farmhouse that sits on a hill overlooking the sea. I have been promised a wood fire, kangaroo visitors and long walks on the beach. It will probably be too cold to swim but I don’t mind, I shall look for selkies and collect shells and seaglass. I promise to bring back plenty of photos to share with you!

As I will be gone until Monday, here are some lovely links to keep you entertained.

Princess and the Cakes a stunning editorial over at Luphia Loves, its from Korean Vogue who are responsible for some of the most creative photography in fashion.

A Low Impact Woodland Home a little while ago I posted a link to some adorable fairytale cottages in Carmel, CA, however I don’t think any of them are even close to the charm of this place. I would love to live here!

Into Wonderland I’m so inspired by these enchanting images, Little red riding hood, Princesses, Mad Hatters and Wolves.

100 Ideas for artists or creative and romantic souls. These simple ideas will add a little fun and magic to your life.

Katogi Mari I am in love with this japanese artist’s work. Her themes, simple colouring and beautiful girls and boys. I currently have ‘Adam and Eve’ as my desktop wallpaper.

A History of the Handkerchief I bought some new hankies last week, with delicate floral designs. This article is brilliant!

Interview at Tattered Rouge I recently did an interview with Gale at Tattered Rouge, you can read it here!

Last but certainly not least, my new blog crushes for the week; The English Muse, Heart of Light and Love Exists

photo by Jesse Draper

My question is about my friends. I have lots of amazing friends, but in particular I am asking about my two best friends.

One is a very busy girl, always doing something whether it is uni, work, friends, family or one of her clubs.

My other best friend is 17, pregnant and about to have to move into her own apartment for the first time.

Both of them have a lot of stress in their lives and don’t put aside as much time looking after themselves as they should. My question is, how can we make our friends feel like princesses when they won’t do it themselves?

- Petra

Petra’s question is lovely because it shows her compassion and kindness in wanting to make her friends feel as much a Princess as she does!

When I think of Princesses in history, something that comes to mind is the deep friendships some of them developed with other women at court. Marie Antoinette and the Princesse de Lamballe for example. Having close friends with whom to share your dreams, hopes and daily adventures is one of the greatest riches in life. When you care for your best friends like family, you are rewarded in so many ways.

I’ve already written a post on Friendship, but here are some little tips for things you can do to make you friends feel treasured and spoilt, and bring out their inner Princess. I am going to assume for the purpose of this post that the friends are female, but I would love to hear your suggestions for male companions!

• Organize a Girls day/night. With Princess day coming up on May 5th, you have a great opportunity! Organizing a night with your best and closest friends is a little way to show them how much you love spending time with them. You could go out to a movie, your favourite restaurant or cafe, a day spa (or a home day spa!), have a picnic or teaparty, whatever you enjoy. Try and do something a little out of the norm though, so it feels special.
• Give small gifts. Sadly gift giving these days has become a thing of obligation. Birthdays, Christmas, Weddings, Baby Showers.. the list of gift requiring days seem endless! Ignore these for a bit and instead give each other little spontaneous presents. They don’t have to be expensive, and sometimes the most appreciated presents are handmade! You could also do something unconventional like giving them an experience or cooking them a meal. Simple gestures like these are heartwarming and unforgettable.
• Stand up for them. We’ve just been talking about Entitlement, and what we feel we deserve as Princesses. Recognize that your friends deserve the same as you, and when they aren’t getting it stand up for them! This might be a case of encouraging them to treat themselves sometimes if they feel undeserving or counseling them when they are being treated badly, without the respect and love they deserve.
• Compliments. I admit, I’m personally not very good at giving or receiving compliments! I do, however, think they are valuable ways of showing appreciation and boosting your friends self confidence and esteem. When giving compliments it is important to be sincere, and also not to go overboard, but genuine compliments at the right moment can make a world of difference.

Petra’s question demonstrates that she is already a considerate and thoughtful friend, but I hope these suggestions come in handy when you feel your friends need a little extra support and care. Of course if you want to make them feel like Princesses, you can always send them here!

I’ve been getting a lot more “Ask the Princess” questions lately, which is great! I love receiving your questions because they let me know a little about your stories, and what subjects you would like me to cover next. As a blogger, writing at least 5 articles a week, this is a huge help! So I want to thank you all for your thoughtful and honest questions.

As I would like to be able to help you in the best way possible, and I realise I haven’t really given many guidelines or suggestions for ‘Ask the Princess’ in the past, I thought it might be useful to compile a few suggestions for sending in questions. Following these will make it easier for me to respond to your queries, and help others who may have the same question as you!

Please read the Ask the Princess FAQ