Of all the virtues commonly attributed to Princesses, I believe one of the most misunderstood is Grace. When many of us think of being Graceful, we see this as a merely physical thing. To walk lightly, have elegant mannerisms and never tread on anyones toes. Gracefulness of this kind is of course admirable but I would like to think there is a little more to the concept than that.
The world presents us many challenges from day to day, sometimes we are plagued by mishaps and accidents, sometimes it is other people that cause problems for us with their behaviour. Unfortunately we can not control everything in our lives and as good and kind as we try to be, bad things will still happen to us.
There are two ways we can respond to these misfortunes. The first is by expressing our anger, frustration or angst. The second is with Grace. Now, I must clarify that I am talking about small, daily misfortunes here, obviously larger life issues may not be so simple to deal with.
To act with Grace is to show composure under trialing circumstances. It is to maintain a balanced mental and emotional state and to treat others with consideration, even when they have not done so in return. To have Grace is to know how to let go of things that are unimportant, to step away from the scene emotionally and step above it mentally. A Graceful person has an inner strength and calmness that is obvious in their manner and speech. Grace is one of the most beautiful things in a person’s character and makes life easier and more pleasant for themselves as well as those around them.
Accidents happen. We all break glasses, trip on loose stones, drop things and scrape our knees. Even Princesses. It is easy to get annoyed when these things happen, if others are around we may even feel embarrassed for it. While our first reaction may be to kick whatever caused the mishap and swear loudly, this is not a graceful way of dealing with it and will probably only draw more attention. Try to accept that these little things happen, its noones fault not even your own and there is no need to make a fuss about it. Clean up and move on with your day without letting it get to you.
Rude people are always a challenge to one’s patience, such as when they cut in front of you in line or take something without asking. Others can make our days a little less pleasant with their lack of consideration. Treat them with Grace and politeness regardless. Usually they will be out of your life as quickly as they came in to it, so there really is no need to let them get to you, then it becomes your problem not their’s and is a real waste of energy. If someone is actually preventing you from going about your activities it is not hard to say a simple “Excuse me, but I need to ….” and thank them when they’ve complied.
Life isn’t fair. Sometimes we have this idea that there should be some divine scale of justice. That we really deserved to win that competition or get that promotion and someone else, less deserving beat us to it. Try not to be a sore loser in life. Learn how to deal with losing gracefully and be happy for others in their success. Congratulate your competition and look for new opportunities for yourself.
We’re not the only ones who make mistakes, other people do as well. Sometimes those mistakes might cause an inconvenience for us and we can feel really annoyed at the person who made them. Try and forgive others for their failures, they may have been under some emotional stress or simply careless but treating them with patience and respect is more Graceful than lecturing them or expressing your anger. Politely make them aware of the error and move on.
There are always times where we feel like giving in to our frustration and having a good shout at someone or something. Afterwards we may realise that the situation could have been better handled, that it wasn’t that important and we feel rather silly for over reacting. When something goes wrong, stop yourself, take a deep breath and assess the situation. Is it really worth getting worked up over? How would a Princess respond to this problem? Smile, laugh it off and move on to more enjoyable uses of your time.
January 16th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
That’s an awesome lesson — I’m definitely going to remember this one! I think I’ve improved a little on my character, actually, since the start of this year … Due to personal resolutions, and also inspiration from your writings. ^_^
You deserve a cupcake! ;Bakes Skye a cupcake in the shape of a heart.; =P
Ooh, have you heard of that trick before? You place muffin cups into a muffin tray, fill the cups with cupcake batter, and then place a glass marble *between* each cup and the tray. When the cupcakes are finished baking, they’ll be in the shape of rounded hearts! ^^;
I’m not sure I explained that very well, though … Here’s a page that explains it a bit better. ^^; http://familyfun.go.com/recipes/special/feature/famf0200cupidcup/famf0200cupidcup.html
January 16th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
Ah, so what I really meant when I said you are composed is that you are graceful.
That works for me :)
January 16th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Grace is something I always had and never lost, but it seems that most people doesn’t like Grace! *surprised*. Sometimes I feel like most people likes people with no Grace, am I wrong? I ALWAYS take things quietly, I think about them and then I do something, but sometimes it is really hard to do when you own mother destroys everything you have built in a long period of time. Anyway, it’s something I can not lose and will not lose. I would be somebody different without Grace.
Thank you very much for this lesson, Princess! ♥
January 17th, 2008 at 9:57 am
Dear Princess Skye,
Thank you for sharing this reminder. Since My Daddy shared your website with me I have grown to seek comfort in your writings when I have felt a little ruffled. Tonight, I came to your site to see what you have written since last visit. This Princess Lesson provided the solace I needed.
I think the lesson of grace also extends to when fear and panic are in play. This evening at the Dojo, where I learn Martial Arts with My Daddy, I had an episode of panic when Sinsei was testing me. The move was to break contact when an attacker was choking us. I panicked. My mind went to memories of being choked by an ogre from my past. I couldn’t remember what to do next. Sinsei stopped and asked if I wanted to sit down. I brought myself back to the present and mustered a little grace enough to decline and asked him to continue. I actually felt more powerful for doing so. I did not let the fear and panic strip me of my dignity and grace.
On a side note, I reconstructed a lovely skirt from pretty red corduroy and black lace. It turned out very steam-punk Lolita. May I send you a picture? It was my first experiment in adding more ruffles and lace to my wardrobe. Since beginning the journey to bring out the princess inside I have become less afraid to just be me. Thank you Princess Skye, for being part of the journey.
January 20th, 2008 at 8:27 am
I really enjoy this Princess Lesson. I think it is a very good, yet hard to thing to have, grace I mean. But I am learning slowly and I am happy to hear that most of the ladies above agree that grace is such a wonderful thing. *huggles for Sora* Never ever ever give up your grace! I agree that it seems that everyone likes people without it, but what people don’t know is that we princesses hold much more than just merely grace ;)