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Honour is another virtue of a Princess, though it is more often associated with Knights and Princes. Honour is something that almost seems to be lost in our modern culture, where personal gain is often valued over keeping one’s word and promises can be broken if the price is not too high. Sometimes I think of the words of C.S. Lewis; ‘We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst.” and think perhaps they are more true than ever.

Honour is the sum of a person’s honesty, respect, integrity and trustworthiness. It is the moral standard you set for yourself, maintained by your own conscience and not by any law. To be honourable is to keep your word, treat others with respect, be reliable and a trustworthy friend and acquaintance.

In the past Honour has often been related to one’s duty to others, whether it be the family, the kingdom, or the group to which one belongs. There is also a personal Honour, which I am speaking of today, but it still relates to the way we treat others. A Princess’s sense of honour is integral to her own self worth, for who could respect and be happy with themselves while treating others unfairly? Being true to yourself also means being true to those you care for, who put their faith and trust in you.

Speaking of Honour is not always pleasant, because it means we must also examine the nature of betrayal. Probably at some point in our lives we will all experience treachery. We will find someone we trusted and loved and cared for has broken that trust. They may have told a secret we asked them to keep, broken a promise, cheated on us, lied to us. It is a sad part of human nature but one we never seem able to escape, no matter how good and kind and loyal we try to be we can not control the actions of others, or blame ourselves for trusting them. Being betrayed by another is not an excuse to betray them in return or seek revenge, for that only brings us down to their level and makes us no better than traitors ourselves. In the end the best we can do is to maintain our own Honour, and treat others fairly as we would like to be treated.

Put friends and family first. You have a certain duty to the people who you are close to, who love you and trust you. They are there for you when things go bad and share both your pain and your joy. Sometimes we forget how much we owe these people, someone else catches our attention, they might be popular or attractive or just exciting and new and we would rather earn their attention and do whatever it takes to get them to notice us. There is nothing wrong with making new friends and starting new relationships, but don’t forget you old friends, they deserve just as much of your time and attention. As the saying goes ‘Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold.’

Your Word is your Honour. I was taught from a young age that Promises were a very serious thing, you made them with the full intent of keeping them and nothing short of a real accident or circumstances out of your control should prevent you from doing so. Thus, whenever someone makes a Promise to me I just expect them to keep it, as naturally as I would expect them to eat and breathe. I have since learned that not everyone takes their word so seriously and I find this a very sad thing. If your are not sure you will be able to keep a promise, don’t make it to begin with, be honest about your feelings and intentions and imagine what it would be like to be in the other person’s position if the promise were broken.

Honesty is the best Policy. There are times when we believe it is ok to lie, when someone asks us if we think they suit an item of clothing and we really don’t believe they do but say so anyway. When we thank someone for a homemade meal we could barely stomach. Little white lies like these are an everyday currency that protect people’s feelings and can help avoid arguments. I think the level to which you find these acceptable is a personal judgement. However, lying about real things, serious things is not honourable. Often we lie to keep ourselves out of trouble, and only end up in worse trouble after we’re found out! Lying is a bad habit to get in to because in the end you have to create more and more lies to cover up the faults and it will eventually become too heavy a burden to bare. Be honest with others, and with yourself. It may mean facing the consequences of your actions but at least you can move on to do so with a clear conscience and lighter heart.

Sometimes Honour means putting others first. Respecting the trust placed in you above your spontaneous wants and desires. It can take self restraint and self sacrifice but it will make you a better friend, truer partner and a very admirable Princess.