To be in love is a feeling like nothing else, it overrides every other part of our person and can make us go against our reason, logic, plans and very nature. For love we do wild crazy things, it intensifies every waking moment and gives a purpose to life beyond simply living. Likewise loosing this feeling, or the person we love can bring unimaginable pain and disillusionment.

I have often wondered, debated with myself, the concept of ‘true love.’ Of there being one person out there who is perfect for us, who we should love at first sight and never part from. My heart would very much like to believe in this ideal, I am a romantic princess afterall and I love tales of true love and soul mates bound by Fate. However experience seems always to show me otherwise. I have seen people deeply in love with those who only ever hurt and use them, I have seen people leave their life partners only to find someone else far more perfect for them, and I wonder, maybe love is not as simple as we like to imagine it.

A very wise person once said to me ‘Love is when you care more for another’s happiness than your own’ and that is the only definition I have ever felt holds true. Love changes, from passion and desire to care and compassion and a deeper connection. I think sometimes when we loose the initial intoxicating feelings we think we no longer love the person who inspired them. Suddenly we start to question our relationship, what do they do to make us happy? What don’t they do? We see their flaws and find the gaps where they don’t meet our needs. To get past this, to find the love that lasts I wonder if maybe all we need to do is open our eyes and see the other person for who they are, flaws and all, and learn to love them for that. When simply seeing them smile makes us happy beyond measure, when we feel their pain as our own, isn’t that love?

I am sure there are many Princesses out there waiting for their Prince Charming. We can’t always choose who we love, but I truly believe everyone in this world can be loved and is worth loving. I think beneath the surface of appearance and persona there lies noble traits in each person; loyalty, compassion, empathy, kindness, honesty, courage. They might not be as obvious as sparkling blue eyes or playing the guitar, but they last the longest and give far greater rewards.

When I think about what I would love in a person, it is very simple, I think I would love someone whom I could tell anything to, share everything with and feel equally trusted by them. What I want most is to feel a connection, to feel understood and appreciated for who I am. In the old tales Princesses often set tasks for their suitors, to fight a dragon or find a treasure or count a thousand grains of sand. The test I would set would be to make me laugh, and also to make me cry.

What are your thoughts on love?