This Princess Lesson was inspired by a question I recently recieved from Eve, which reads:

Good day to you, Princess Skye! I love everything about your web! It’s so adorable and sweet, you must have taken a lot of time to make it. I have a question….How can I be a princess? The kind of Princess that can control herself without throwing any tantrums or shouting? I seem to have that problem…Thanks so much!
Good day!

This subject is also something I touched on in the article on Duty and I think it is very integral to maintaining the sense of dignity and nobility that comes with being a Princess, but also it is an issue many of us deal with in day to day life, that is, how to handle our emotions and control our behaviour with grace and composure.

I think it is important to clarify that emotions, even passionate strong emotions, are a very natural and healthy thing to have. Without our feelings, we would live very dull lives and expressing those emotions is necessary for good mental and physical health. Even Princesses need to cry sometimes, or shout, or dance with joy. The trick in knowing when and how to express these feelings, and when to let go of them.

If you picture a Princess in public, how does she behave? Whenever we see royalty on tv or at public appearances, they are always smiling serenely and seem interested and attentive to everyone they meet. This is not because they lack any of the issues or emotions we deal with, but because they know that the world is watching them, and they want to show dignity and confidence in who they are. This state is very achievable for all of us, it just takes a little bit of effort and discipline.

The first place to start is in recognizing what you are feeling. Is it anger? fear? sadness? frustration? Try and seperate yourself from the emotion for long enough to figure out why you’re feeling that way. Often when we’re stressed it can be a matter of many things building up until we’ve just had enough and can’t take it any longer. Still, try and recognize what emotions you feel most often and where they’re coming from. Say to yourself, in your head, ‘Ok, I’m feeling — right now, and its because of —.’

When you are able to acknowledge your feelings for what they are, think about how important the causes really are. If, for example, you’re angry because your brother teased you or you left your lunch at home or any manner of small things, let it go. Its not important in the long run and it’s certainly not worth ruining your day over or making everyone around you miserable. Letting go can be one of the hardest lessons to learn in life, but its also one of the most valuable. When you learn to let go of little day-to-day troubles, it will help you gain the peace of mind to resolve larger life issues.

Of course there are times where its not that simple, where we have really big issues that are making us feel emotional and we can’t let go so easily. Then it becomes important to find ways of expressing our feelings that are safe and not destructive. Whether it’s having a good long cry, punching a pillow or writing your heart out in a diary or journal, find a way that you can express these emotions that is private and under your control. Sometimes it means holding out until you get home or find some time alone, or with a close friend, but at least you won’t have anything to regret later.

Looking back at our image of the serene, smiling Princess, think about how you would like others to see you. We spend a lot of time worrying about what other people think of us, we try so hard to be loved but we also want to be ourselves. The truth is, we also have to behave in social situations with certain manners, as nice as it might be to pour our heart out or rant and rave, it’s not always the best opportunity. You actually have a lot of control over how other people see you, simply by the way you behave. The image you portray and the emotions you express will define who you are in their eyes, try and show the world your best side, that doesn’t mean faking anything, but being the best you can be every day.

The single greatest secret to keeping your emotion in check and behaving with grace and poise is to stop thinking of yourself as the center of the world and put other’s wants and needs first. Have empathy, be attentive and compassionate to those around you. Think about how you could help them, ask them how they are, make them smile. In doing this, we put aside our own troubles for a while and get to feel a certain kind of love, that of giving and helping others. When we step outside our own little world for a bit, and realise we are not the only ones with feelings or problems, it helps put perspective in to our lives and helping others can show us the way to helping ourselves.

I hope this answered your question Eve, and was useful to others as well. Its certainly not an easy one, I also find I have to keep check of my feelings sometimes, but it’s a big step towards gaining the confidence and inner beauty that comes with being a Princess.