.the princess portal.

Yesterday I went to have my first pair of ballet shoes fitted! I was so excited, as Sanyu already had hers and they looked so soft and comfortable to dance in. Dancing in just tights can be a little hard on your feet, and slippery too!

When I arrived at the dance store it was quite busy so I had to wait a little while to be served. This was fine with me because I got to talk to some of the more experienced dancers there and watch one girl getting fitted for her Pointe shoes which are so beautiful! I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to dance en pointe but it looks so elegant I was happy to sit and watch her try out her satiny toe shoes.

When it was my turn, I almost felt like I was in a scene from the Harry Potter books! The lady was pulling out boxes from different shelves and could guess my size just by looking at my feet. She made me try on three different pairs, the first two didn’t feel quite right but the third pair fitted perfectly, as if they were made for me. I purchased them and a pair of dance tights and took them all home with me.

My second ballet lesson was last night, we learnt a few new things including glissades, and have lots to practise at home now! Unfortunately I wasn’t able to wear my new shoes because I had to sew the elastics down myself and didn’t have time before class but I spent a little while with a needle and thread this morning listening to some Tchaikovsky and now they feel even more like my own.

It’s getting pretty cold down here in the southern hemisphere! I love winter, I think there’s something magical about it. In winter I find myself looking inwards, focusing on my thoughts, dreams, relationships, issues and it is easy to get caught up in all this and become too introspective. To remind me of the beauty of this season, I thought I’d write a little list of my winter pleasures.

Fireplaces, heaters, the warm orange glow and crackling sound of logs burning
The way my breath turns in to little cloud puffs in the cold air
Dance practise on a cold night, warming up, getting my blood flowing again
Snuggling down under soft fleece blankets and goose down quilts
Watching the rain decorate my window in fine liquid silver tracings
Wearing pretty vintage dresses that are older than I am
A sea of Umbrellas, in every colour, shape and pattern
Jumping in puddles!
Hot chocolate and chai lattes with buttered muffins
The city at night, every rain slicked building sparkling in the lights
The smell of spices and good things baking
Warm embraces

What are some of your winter (or summer!) pleasures? What makes the season special to you?

I had a really busy but enjoyable weekend! I worked saturday morning and then rushed home to make some cards and get ready for the evening. There were two parties to attend so I knew it would be a long night. The first was Eugene’s birthday celebration. He had rented out a hall with a stage and dance floor and organized a little ball. It was really nicely set up with balloons and masks on all the tables.

I wore a vintage dress I bought recently. I really love the sleeves on this one, you can’t see in the photo but they’re slit over the shoulders and they flutter when I move! The fabric is a soft cream with little blue and lilac flowers. It was quite cold so I also wore a shawl and carried my beaded reticule! I love this bag, its round and has a tassel at the bottom, carrying it always makes me feel like a fairytale princess. I braided my hair in to three plaits and curled them around my head, pinning a few flowers in for a hair piece. It was fun to experiment with a different look, though getting used to walking (and dancing) in a full length gown takes practise!

I was kindly given a lift to Eugene’s by Zing, and when we arrived there was delicious food and lots of people to talk to. Eugene also had some games set up for people to play and I had quite a struggle pulling Mirai away from Rockstar so we could go to the second party! Unfortunately by the time we arrived at Jeff and Emily’s engagement party it was nearly over, but we still got to congratulate them and catch up with a few people there. We decided to head back to Eugene’s after that where we danced the night away.

Happy Birthday to Eugene and Congratulations to Jeff and Emily! Thank you for a beautiful night.

This above all else,
to thine own self be true. - William Shakespeare

We are often told things like ‘It will be all right, just be yourself’ or ‘be yourself and you’ll be fine’ as if this were a simple thing to do. In fact for most of us, there is nothing harder than being ourselves and we spend much of our lives trying to discover just who we are inside and how to be true to that person.

In every situation we are faced with, we choose to respond in a certain way. This is sometimes called being ‘in character.’ When a person is acting in character they are behaving as we would expect them to, in accordance with the image we have of them in our minds. You may notice that this sounds a lot like theatre, acting characters and roles to fulfill the story the audience wishes to see. That is exactly so, a good deal of our actions and choices are predetermined by our own and others expectations of us. This does not make them false, but it does take away some of our freedom and can prevent us from ever really going any deeper, uncovering our true thoughts and dreams.

So what is the true self and where do we find it? There is no easy answer. However, I believe that there are a few things that can help to bring us closer to this reality, to see beyond our own masks and realise who we are underneath it all.

The first is Honesty. Not just telling the truth to others, though this is also important, but real, brutal honesty with ourselves. It takes a lot of courage to admit what we are truly feeling and why. We spend so much time and energy trying to cover up our thoughts and feelings, to explain them and give reasons for our behavior but never really confront the issues that burn inside. Sometimes we ignore them or run from them, we might try to fight them or bury them with a thousand distractions. This does not make them go away, and it harms us in the end. Not dealing with our true feelings, carrying them around inside our hearts without ever really facing them only makes them harder to bear. To confront these thoughts and feelings, to be painfully, beautifully honest and to forgive oneself is the only way to be free of them and discover who we really are.

It is said the best way to learn anything, is to experience it. This is also true of being our selves. We are presented with opportunities and experiences every day and through being fully aware of these and striving to live completely and experience everything that is on offer we learn so much about who we are inside. When we are faced with challenges and difficulties, we learn how strong we are. From the experiences we share with others, we learn how much we can love. Through making mistakes, we become wiser. Life constantly uncovers new aspects of our inner selves, and at the same time it changes and creates us.

One of the greatest threats to our True selves is our need for acceptance. The desire to be wanted, appreciated, loved, praised by others and to be proud of who we are. Often we feel like we need to create something, to reach some goal or become some image to be worthy of this. The truth is, you are already perfect the way you are. Every one of us deserves to be accepted exactly as we are today, and while we can’t control the way others treat us, we can chose to accept ourselves. When we do this, we find amazingly that there are other people who can accept us as well, not everyone, but the ones that are really worth knowing, those who can love us just as we are.

‘Being yourself’ is scary, it really is for all of us. It requires a great deal of trust and faith in others, the world and ourselves. Its not something we can achieve overnight, its a lifelong struggle, but the most rewarding one of all. As we come closer to our true selves we find that we can also love and accept others, that the world is not such a bad place and that happiness is far simpler and easier to grasp than we would ever have believed. It doesn’t protect us from being hurt, or make life a picnic, but it does make it more real, and beautiful and fulfilling. It makes us more alive.

Last night was my first Ballet lesson! I had to leave quickly after work to meet Sanyu at the bus station, and pick up some dinner on the way. We hadn’t been to the Dance school before so we were both a bit nervous about getting lost, but the bus driver was really helpful and we got there on time!

The dance class we’re taking is Adult Beginner Ballet, as neither of us have danced for years and its more comfortable to be starting with other people our age and older who are at similar levels. We met the instructor when she arrived, I like her attitude, she’s pretty strict but still understanding since we are new. I think she threw us in the deep end a little though, we did the same exercises as everyone else and just tried to keep up for most of it!

I realised that I’ve lost a lot of my flexibility, although the stretches are the same as those I used to do for Irish Dance, so I’m going to get back in to the habit of stretching every day to try and improve that. It was interesting for me to pick up the differences between the styles, having a bar to work with is nice! Ballet is so beautiful too, the arm movements are particularly graceful.

Thanks to Sanyu for coming with me and to our Instructor and the other students who were really nice and said I have good ‘turn out.’ Can’t wait for next weeks lesson!

Yesterday was Zing’s birthday party! It was going to be at a park but unfortunately the weather forecast was looking gloomy (and indeed it was pretty cold and wet) so the party was moved to Zing’s house, which was lovely and warm! Mirai and I got ready in the morning, for once my hair seemed happy to curl, probably from all the humidity in the air. I wore my Mary Magdalene Saior OP, with the bolero because it was cold! Thanks to Mirai for snapping this picture before we went in.

Zing and her family had been cooking and preparing for days and shortly after we arrived we got to enjoy a delicious lunch with curry and rice and pastries and chicken and salad and all different kinds of desserts! I was so full afterwards, but it was all too good to resist!

We played some games, including ‘Imaginiff’ which belongs to our housemate Emily. Its a board game of sorts, where you have cards with a list of things on them (colours, sayings, animals, vehicles) and you have to vote on which one of those is most like the person who’s name gets picked via dice roll. Its a lot of fun, especially when you all know eachother well. We enjoyed it so much that we played it twice, once in each direction. We also played a version of ‘Operation’ called ‘Autopsy’ which shocks you if you hit the edge of the board! I got shocked but it wasn’t too bad, the game is pretty suspenseful though.

Zing got some juggling balls and a diablo for her birthday so in the evening we had a bit of a circus outside watching everyone try them out. I also got to see her Father’s Bonzai collection which is incredible! I have never seen so many beautiful and detailed little trees altogether and some were even flowering!

Happy birthday Zing! Thanks for inviting us, it was a great party!

Well, I had a lot of fun with the June Princess challenge, I hope yours went well too! If you took some pictures or wrote a diary entry about your experience and would like me to link it from the Princess Challenge page, just send me an email! We’ve had Princesses trying all sorts of new things this month, from visiting beautiful gardens to taking guitar lessons, bike riding, DDR and even a Triathalon! I’m so impressed with everyone’s efforts, stepping outside the box and trying something new can be really rewarding.

If you missed out last month don’t worry because I think the next challenge is going to be a lot of fun, and it involves trying something new aswell!

July 2008 Princess Challenge
(if this is your first challenge, please read the original post here)

This month we’re having a cooking challenge! The cold weather here has got me in to a baking mood, but even if its summer for you, it will still be fun to try out a new recipe! Whether its a stew or soup or salad, cookies or cake or chocolates, try cooking something you love but have never tried making from scratch before. Food is one of those small pleasures in life that we often take for granted, but it can be a beautiful art in itself and also a great comfort when a lot of love is put in to the preparation. You might like to share your results with friends or family, or even have a little picnic to celebrate your success! I look forward to reading about your cooking adventures and hopefully we can post everyone’s recipes up at the end of the month and make a little Princess cookbook!

Sunday at the convention was much more relaxed and easy. I had a last minute change of outfit and decided to wear my Angelic Pretty Candy Chan coat and bunny ear muffs because it was so cold outside! I hardly ever get a chance to wear this coat because it just doesn’t get that cold in Perth often, and I was so rugged up I felt like a walking Teddy Bear all day!

I left for the convention a little later on day 2, as I was fortunate enough to get a lift with my housemate Emily since Mirai was unable to attend both days. I had fun running around with Sanyu who you can see here, having our photos taken with Storm troopers and eating yummy muffins (mango and white chocolate )

We watched the cosplay competition again, which was even bigger than the first day, and I got to spend a lot more time chatting to old friends and generally relaxing. I think thats what I enjoy about conventions more than anything, getting to see so many people I love in one place. Perth really is a small community when you get down to it.

The highlight of the day for me was going to the Karaoke contest in the afternoon. Several of my friends were competing and the level of talent was just amazing! Congrats to the winners, it was a really great show.

I was so tired by the end of the day, that despite being invited out I decided to go home and rest. I had a fantastic weekend with lots of precious memories made and I look forward to going again next year!

So, now I finally get to reveal to you my Princess Challenge for June, and why I have been so busy in the past month! On the weekend I went to a pop culture convention called Supanova and for the first time, I cosplayed!

A few months ago my friend Mirai asked me to join in a group cosplay she was planning for this convention. I’d never participated in one of these before, although my many of my friends are cosplayers, and usually just wore lolita to such events. I thought it might be something fun and different to try, and I am fond of the series she chose (Lucky Star, its a cute, silly little anime) so I agreed to join in and dress up as Tsukasa! As a group we also decided to learn and perform the dance from the opening of the series.

The first day of the convention was really exciting for us, we woke up full of nerves and rushed around getting ready. I made crepes with lemon and sugar while the others were putting on wigs and doing makeup so that we would at least have a good breakfast before we headed off. It was delicious too and Steph brought some fresh melon to eat with it! At about 9:30 we set off and I got to play navigator on the way there, but we arrived safely and went in to find Mirai who was already inside.

We spent much of Saturday morning running around and talking to people, having our photos taken and exploring the convention. Supanova is a pop culture convention, so its a mix of anime, sci fi and comics. There wasn’t a whole lot that interested me at the stalls, but I ended up buying a cute plushie and notebook and I enjoyed seeing some of the demonstrations and displays they had aswell.

We got in a quick last minute dance practise and then rushed off to the Cosplay competition. I was really nervous right up until we got on stage, and then I felt fine. We’d rehearsed the dance so much that we hardly had to think about it and I think it went pretty smoothly. Afterwards we got to sit down the front and watch the rest of the cosplay which is always entertaining.

After the convention we all went out for dinner and bubble tea. The chefs at the restaurant loved our costumes and took photos with us which was really cute, they also gave us some treats! I had warm honey milk tea which was nice as it was freezing outside and later we all piled in to a photoboth to take some Purikura to remember the day by. It was long an exhausting, but a lot of fun.

Thank you to Steph (Miyuki) Sanyu (Konata) and Mirai (Kagami) for cosplaying with me and to everyone who made this such a great experience! Its certainly something I won’t forget in a hurry, and just maybe I’ll try it again someday!

I’ve recently recieved a few questions on conversation, how to start one with a stranger and how to turn a conversation around if its going the wrong way. Good conversational skills are a great asset to any Princess, you never know when you’ll need to address someone with grace and composure and show them just how intelligent, thoughtful and confident you are.

Of course its not always easy, I have this problem too sometimes! Even the most confident amoung us will have shy moments, or people whom we feel awkward around, and when you’re thrown in to a room where you know few people it can be very stressful unless you’re well prepared! Here are a few little tips to practise in such situations.

First of all, always be aware of your body language. The way you stand and hold yourself will give off a very strong impression to those around you. If you slouch and hold your head down, you will look shy or frightened, if you cross your arms you might seem unapproachable. Stand tall, with good posture, and have your arms apart, sometimes its good to have something to hold like a glass or handbag, this makes you feel less awkward. Have a relaxed attitude and smile! When you talk to someone make eye contact with them and nod or gesture to show you’re paying attention. Try not appear too stiff and don’t be afraid to laugh! (If you want to look a little more elegant cover your mouth with one hand when you do so.)

Sometimes starting conversations or finding topics to talk about can be tricky. Keep an eye out for objects you can use as cues and conversation starters. A book on the table, an interesting painting. Start off with a question ‘Oh, have you read this book?’ or ‘What do you think of that painting’ and try and relate to it in some way, don’t be afraid to ask them more questions if they seem interested, and try to avoid closed yes/no questions in favour of open questions where people can express their thoughts and opinions. Another good tactic is to bring a conversation piece with you! An interesting bag or piece of jewelry or a hat. Wearing something with a story behind it gives you an instant starting topic, and people are more likely to approach you and ask about it!

There are some little faux pas that its a good idea to avoid in conversations, especially with people you do not know well. They’re not exactly ‘bad’ but might make the conversation more difficult or likely to end faster. One is to to contradict or flatly disagree with the other person, instead offer your opinion without telling them they are wrong, be open minded and accepting of their different ideas. Don’t talk for too long without pausing or letting the other person offer their thoughts, keep asking them questions and making them feel included in the conversation. Also, avoid mentioning or asking about anything too personal unless you know the person very well and the situation is suitable.

Make the conversation about them! Most people like to talk about themselves, or what they’re doing or are interested in. Ask some non-confrontational questions about the other person, what movies or music they like, what they do for a living, if they have any pets. When you hit on something they seem to enjoy talking about, keep going with that topic and show your interest with open questions and good eye contact. Compliments never hurt either, as long as they are sincere and well placed. For example ‘You seem to know a lot about …’ or ‘I really like your jacket.’ Suddenly telling someone that they have beautiful eyes might not be as appropriate.

The biggest tip I can give though, is to always be positive. Others are naturally drawn to positive people who put off a good energy, seem happy and easy to talk to. Be optimistic and spirited, talk about what you do like rather than what you don’t. Discuss good news rather than bad and give the other person positive feedback and lots of smiles!

I hope this lesson has been helpful to the Princesses who asked about it, and if you have any good tips to share please let me know! I believe that conversational skills are something that can be developed and learnt and I’m always looking for ways to improve.

Speaking of conversations, I recently did an interview with the lovely M. Elizabeth of Bright Young Thing blog. If you like, you can read it here.